How hypnotherapy could cure your anorgasmia

woman on mountain


Have you given up on the idea of a ‘normal’, healthy sex life? Depending on how openly you speak about your sex life with your close friends, you may not be surprised to learn that about 30% of all women have trouble reaching orgasm (called anorgasmia), with that statistic climbing to 80% if the experience is based on vaginal intercourse alone.

While some women may take a little longer and need more attention and patience than some men in order to reach a state of orgasm, there are women who are unable to reach orgasm despite what would be considered adequate stimulation.

If this is you, then take heart – you are not alone!

This understandably upsetting and distressful state is called anorgasmia. There are a number of causes and triggers for anorgasmia. But first let’s find out why it’s important to get this fixed:

Why is sexual happiness important?

Sex is an important component of any relationship, whether with a trusted lover, significant other or life partner. Sexual happiness and satisfaction create a bond or connection between individuals and is key to the success of any intimate relationship.

But sometimes we find that our subconscious is sabotaging our sexual happiness. But why would this happen?

1. Past sexual trauma

It is a heart-breaking reality that many women suffer sexual abuse and emotional abuse at the hands of men. So often men that they have trusted. This has a profound impact on our ability to love ourselves and to be vulnerable sexually. It is not easy to open yourself up to another person and the dramatic effects of past sexual trauma can have long and devastating consequences for your sexual happiness.

2. Lack of intimacy in your relationship

Being a part of a relationship where you didn’t feel comfortable to express your sexual desires or even where your sexual happiness was not a priority can contribute to low self-esteem and difficulty in achieving orgasm.

Women may have more equal rights than ever before, but we are bombarded by destructive messages:

• The internet now offers readily available and easy access to increasingly unrealistic forms of pornography.

• Mainstream media portrays women’s sexual performance in relation to male desires.

This all puts a lot of pressure on women to “perform” for their partners rather than focus on their own sexual satisfaction or needs.

If your partner is a selfish lover and your relationship lacks intimacy, this could also have a profound effect on your ability to let go and achieve organism.

3. Sexual anxiety

Traumatic sexual experiences and a lack of intimacy or openness with your partner all lead to sexual performance anxiety. It goes without saying that this creates an environment where it’s impossible to have a satisfying sexual interaction. Orgasms come when your focus is on what your body is enjoying and not when your mind is alert to outside factors.

So, what is anorgasmia?

The Mayo Clinic defines anorgasmia as, “the medical term for regular difficulty reaching orgasm after ample sexual stimulation, causing you personal distress”.

Of course, all women are different! Orgasms may vary in intensity, frequency and the amount of stimulation needed to reach this state; while factors such as age, medical issues, and medication may also have an impact on your ability to orgasm. Psychological factors are also a huge consideration when it comes to sexual satisfaction.

Female sexual dysfunction has perhaps not had as much publicity as it should when compared with male sexual dysfunction, yet some surveys confirm that female sexual dysfunction is common – as high as 43%.

If you’ve already seen your doctor and they have ruled out contributing conditions, such as thyroid disease, depression and diabetes (as these are also closely linked with female sexual dysfunction) then you may want to consider the healing effects of rapid transformational hypnotherapy.

Why hypnotherapy?

Hypnotherapy is a gentle, non-invasive way to conquer the expectations and negative re-patterning of anorgasmia. As a female hypnotherapist and the UK’s premier Sexual Happiness Guru, I have years of experience in handling deeply personal and difficult situations with kindness and compassion.

Using the Rapid Transformational Therapy method, the work I do gently re-patterns the negative associations and expectations of past sexual experiences (I won’t make you relive any traumatic experiences) and ultimately re-educates the mind-body connection. By dissolving any mental barriers you may have created as a protection mechanism, I free your mind to experience the pleasure of sexual intimacy again.

Don’t despair – there is hope.

I would love to speak with you. Book a free Discovery Call with me today and we’ll get you back on the path to sexual happiness and fulfillment!

4 Ways Your Subconscious is Sabotaging Your Sexual Happiness

sexual happiness


Are you completely carefree in your sex life? Chances are, like most adults, you have some or other subconscious issue that is holding you back from reaching sexual happiness.

As a woman, whether you are in a new relationship, have been married for years, or have been alone for some time – opening your body up to another person is an act that comes with extreme vulnerability.

Sex at any age should be an enjoyable experience! And if it isn’t, there’s a good chance that you’re dealing with some underlying issues that are haunting you and holding you back from sexual happiness – maybe causing some sexual dysfunction too. These underlying issues might be ghosts from past experiences or internalised self-doubt. The list of potential problems getting you down is endless – and in most cases, you may not even be conscious of what’s causing your inhibitions or reservations with regards to sex.

Do you know if you are in a state of sexual happiness? First, let’s look at exactly what sexual happiness is.


What is sexual happiness?

Anyone can have sex. It’s an instinct, an act that we are wired to desire as living beings. Having sex, however, is completely different to achieving sexual happiness. Sexual happiness is much less about the procedure, the act itself, or the physicality of it all.

Sexual happiness is a state of mind. It’s a state of being completely open, receptive and carefree in sexual and intimate situations. Sexual happiness is something that first comes from within yourself. It then manifests and expresses itself through a relationship you have with your sexual partner.


Sexual dissatisfaction

Do you ever feel uncomfortable in intimate situations? Do you perhaps feel unhappy, unwilling or uninvolved in sexual scenarios? Maybe you’ve even felt embarrassed by your sexual performance or discouraged by feelings of guilt.

There are numerous factors that may play on our minds during sex that will ultimately leave us feeling unsatisfied and lead to a bad relationship with intimacy.

Let’s look at some things that may be subconsciously holding you back from sexual happiness.


Low self-esteem

The Merriam Webster dictionary describes self-esteem as “a confidence and satisfaction in one’s self”.

On the opposite end of the scale, it can be said that low self-esteem is a lack of confidence in one’s self and a dissatisfaction with personal being. Low self-esteem can have devastating effects in many different areas of your life!

Healthy Women has written about the concept of Sexual Self-Esteem. Their article describes how the way you view yourself can largely impact on your comfort and openness to love and sex.

If you have low self-esteem, you may feel shy and reserved about your body and actions – leaving you stressed and unengaged with your partner. A low self-esteem means you don’t see true value in yourself, leaving you open to sexually risky behaviour or not being confident enough to voice your feelings.


Trust violation and previous betrayal

It’s happened to so many of us. If at some stage in your life you have been betrayed by a partner or someone close to you, you may still be hurting (whether you are aware of it or not) from that trust violation.

Trust violations are very emotionally draining and can easily leave you with emotional scars that cause you a general distrust of men. Your sexual happiness is largely based on your trust in your partner. If you’re still battling with a previous betrayal, chances are that you’re not feeling very carefree or receptive in your current sex life.


Past trauma and abuse

Any abuse, whether physical, emotional or mental will leave an internal wound on your psyche. If you have experienced any form of abuse in your past, you could still be affected by the trauma.

If this is the case, your subconscious may have internalised all kinds of false truths about yourself and about others. This could be largely why you’re feeling unlovable or dissatisfied.



In an article by How Stuff Works, sexual guilt and shame is described as “a feeling of grave responsibility and deep remorse associated with participation in or even thoughts and fantasies about sexual activity.”

People who experience sexual guilt are of the belief that engaging in sexual activity is a negative act, a sinful experience, or even an unclean undertaking. These beliefs can come from a range of various places. If you’ve been raised in a conservative society or religious family, you may have been fed messages of promiscuity or sin with regards to sex.

Many of the beliefs we have around sex that have come from our upbringing are extremely harmful and counterintuitive. Feeling shameful about intimacy is an easy road to being sexually unhappy!


Sexual healing through hypnosis

Do you resonate with any of the above subconscious factors? If you feel that there is something holding you back or keeping you from finding a state of sexual happiness, it may be time for some internal reflection.

Hypnotherapy is a great way to tap into your subconscious and potentially address some of the underlying issues listed above. Healing through hypnosis will help you let go of the negative self-beliefs and thought patterns that could be causing your underwhelming sexual experiences.

If you’re interested in finding out more about how hypnosis could better your sex life, get in touch with me for a free, completely confidential Discovery Call.


Elaine Young is a registered nurse and qualified Rapid Transformation Therapy practitioner specialising in healing through hypnosis. She is the UK’s Premier Sexual Happiness Guru, assisting women in finding sexual happiness in their relationships.