Have you given up on the idea of a ‘normal’, healthy sex life? Depending on how openly you speak about your sex life with your close friends, you may not be surprised to learn that about 30% of all women have trouble reaching orgasm (called anorgasmia), with that statistic climbing to 80% if the experience is based on vaginal intercourse alone.
While some women may take a little longer and need more attention and patience than some men in order to reach a state of orgasm, there are women who are unable to reach orgasm despite what would be considered adequate stimulation.
If this is you, then take heart – you are not alone!
This understandably upsetting and distressful state is called anorgasmia. There are a number of causes and triggers for anorgasmia. But first let’s find out why it’s important to get this fixed:
Why is sexual happiness important?
Sex is an important component of any relationship, whether with a trusted lover, significant other or life partner. Sexual happiness and satisfaction create a bond or connection between individuals and is key to the success of any intimate relationship.
But sometimes we find that our subconscious is sabotaging our sexual happiness. But why would this happen?
1. Past sexual trauma
It is a heart-breaking reality that many women suffer sexual abuse and emotional abuse at the hands of men. So often men that they have trusted. This has a profound impact on our ability to love ourselves and to be vulnerable sexually. It is not easy to open yourself up to another person and the dramatic effects of past sexual trauma can have long and devastating consequences for your sexual happiness.
2. Lack of intimacy in your relationship
Being a part of a relationship where you didn’t feel comfortable to express your sexual desires or even where your sexual happiness was not a priority can contribute to low self-esteem and difficulty in achieving orgasm.
Women may have more equal rights than ever before, but we are bombarded by destructive messages:
• The internet now offers readily available and easy access to increasingly unrealistic forms of pornography.
• Mainstream media portrays women’s sexual performance in relation to male desires.
This all puts a lot of pressure on women to “perform” for their partners rather than focus on their own sexual satisfaction or needs.
If your partner is a selfish lover and your relationship lacks intimacy, this could also have a profound effect on your ability to let go and achieve organism.
3. Sexual anxiety
Traumatic sexual experiences and a lack of intimacy or openness with your partner all lead to sexual performance anxiety. It goes without saying that this creates an environment where it’s impossible to have a satisfying sexual interaction. Orgasms come when your focus is on what your body is enjoying and not when your mind is alert to outside factors.
So, what is anorgasmia?
The Mayo Clinic defines anorgasmia as, “the medical term for regular difficulty reaching orgasm after ample sexual stimulation, causing you personal distress”.
Of course, all women are different! Orgasms may vary in intensity, frequency and the amount of stimulation needed to reach this state; while factors such as age, medical issues, and medication may also have an impact on your ability to orgasm. Psychological factors are also a huge consideration when it comes to sexual satisfaction.
Female sexual dysfunction has perhaps not had as much publicity as it should when compared with male sexual dysfunction, yet some surveys confirm that female sexual dysfunction is common – as high as 43%.
If you’ve already seen your doctor and they have ruled out contributing conditions, such as thyroid disease, depression and diabetes (as these are also closely linked with female sexual dysfunction) then you may want to consider the healing effects of rapid transformational hypnotherapy.
Hypnotherapy is a gentle, non-invasive way to conquer the expectations and negative re-patterning of anorgasmia. As a female hypnotherapist and the UK’s premier Sexual Happiness Guru, I have years of experience in handling deeply personal and difficult situations with kindness and compassion.
Using the Rapid Transformational Therapy method, the work I do gently re-patterns the negative associations and expectations of past sexual experiences (I won’t make you relive any traumatic experiences) and ultimately re-educates the mind-body connection. By dissolving any mental barriers you may have created as a protection mechanism, I free your mind to experience the pleasure of sexual intimacy again.
Don’t despair – there is hope.
I would love to speak with you. Book a free Discovery Call with me today and we’ll get you back on the path to sexual happiness and fulfillment!